Category Archives: Uncategorized

Re: Guilt

As promised in my last blog I did give a talk about GUILT at the ARS, ARHS, AAPG conference,. Who hasn’t at some point felt guilty? So I want to share with you what we found out about guilt.  Each one who attended the lecture made a list of everything about which he/she felt guilty. And then everyone looked again at his/her list and moved some of the items on the list to the “regret column,” the “shame column,” the “selfish column,” etc. You get the picture. We tend to feel guilty about actions which belong in another area. Don’t be hard on yourself. Guilt covers moral misdeeds such as murder, rape, abuse, stealing, lying, or cheating. What are you like today? Have you changed? Is it time to forgive yourself? I know, tough questions.

A Conference Geared to Young Adults

Association of Recovery in Higher Education and the Association of Recovery Schools as well as the Association of Alternative Peer Group are having a conference discussing the how’s and why’s and the because’s of addiction.  I will be giving a talk on GUILT – UNDERSTANDING AND OVERCOMING on June 22nd from 4:50 to 5:50PM Eastern Time. Who hasn’t at some point felt guilty. What do we do with these emotions? There will be a lot of other helpful talks at this conference.

Whether you are in college, planning to go, are in junior college, a senior in high school or none of these but curious then visit  The  conference is virtual. It starts June 21st and ends June 24th. Tell your counselors, teachers and members of Ala-Teen, Al-Anon about the conference. Worried about the cost? Scholarships are available. Hope to meet you all virtually.

How Drinking Has Changed

Go to Google and type in “drinking during the pandemic” and a whole group of articles will come up. We all know that people suffering with addiction are in danger of increasing their drinking and/or drugs when faced with serious challenges.

O.K. – take a deep breath and consider your choices. Yes, you have heard it before, you are endangering your health, your life and actually the life of the people around you.

Here is the biggie. You don’t have to suffer alone. When you reach for that bottle say to yourself, “Before I touch it let me go on line with Women For Sobriety or with  or Sober.Coffee Podcast.  If you have never gone on line with an Alcoholics Anonymous group for women  now is the perfect time. So what if you have not yet given up drinking. That is why these groups exist. They exist for women like you. Don’t be afraid to let them know how you feel, vent what you are going through. The listeners have all experienced what you are experiencing.

You may want to know –

Nothing to lose by listening. Go for it.

Join Gateway Foundation Aurora Executive Jim Scarpace and Program Director Bob Chapman as they discuss the statistics and stigma associated with alcohol use and how Gateway Foundation can help. This is an event you will not want to miss! (877) 389-2107


Times are challenging. Is it too much for you? Here are some numbers you may want at your fingertips.

Addiction and Mental Health Treatment – 1-866-393-0480 SAMHSA
Disaster Distress Helpline – 1-800-985-5990 Suicide Helpline – 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Veterans Crisis Line. 1-800-273-8255

Think About This

Someone just twitted this saying to me. I thought all of you would find it meaningful.

Recent Tweet from A.G.P.

AA is a WE program. I get drunk, WE stay sober.

Remember Alcoholics Anonymous has as well meetings for women only.

Go for it.

Worried about your teenagers – you are not alone

Yes, you suffer from addiction. You may be a recovered alcoholic or you may be a person trying to stop drinking. However, you want your children to be healthy. And, you may want more information on how to cope. You can reach out to SAMHSA (Substance Abuse Mental Health Service Agency). Here is the info:

SAMHSA’s New Publications: Talking with Your Teen about Marijuana, Vaping, Opioids

New Publications: February 12, 2021

Talk. They Hear You. Talking with Your Teen About Marijuana: Keeping Your Kids Safe—Parent Brochure
A brochure for parents and caregivers about the risks associated with marijuana for teens and the importance of having conversations with their children to help them avoid substance use.

Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration 5600 Fishers Lane Rockville, MD 20857 USA
1-877-SAMHSA-7 (1-877-726-4727) |


I want to share this with you

Recovery Centers of America liked a Tweet from PhillyVoice:

When alcohol is the solution to a problem, it’s likely that alcohol *is* the problem.

Think About This

You want to give up drinking and you are having a hard time.  Alcoholism is a disease and one always has to fight hard to lick a disease. Do you think that people who have cancer and are on Chemo have it easy? Who wants to feel nauseous? Lose hair? You get the picture.

Let’s face some facts here.

  • If you are having a hard time admitting to yourself that you need to give up drinking the very circumstance that you are reading this material means that your are thinking about it. According to Prochaska et al (1992) one model suggests five stages an alcoholic and/or multi –substance abuser goes through. The first is  a precontemplation which consists of “do I really have a problem and if, is it really serious?” The next stage is contemplative where the patient thinks, “Yes, there does seem to be problem but am I going to do something about it? I am not ready to make a commitment to change even though I know there is a problem.” The third stage is called preparation. The alcoholic cuts down on the drinking and looks for help from a substance abuse facility. The final two stages, action and maintenance are the goals the patient needs to reach. Here the patient goes into treatment, gives up drinking and educates herself on how to avoid relapses.

This bit of information was taken from my book, The Drinking Woman Revisited.  (when reprinting I have to give credit).

Let me say something more here: many women thinking about giving up drinking feel sometimes shy about joining a group. Don’t. Trust me nothing shocks the women in Alcoholics Anonymous – yes, there are women only AA groups. You also may consider joining Women For Sobriety Group. Go for it. Be good to yourself. Even if you are only thinking about giving up drinking join.


Happy and Healthy New Year Wishes

Time for new year resolutions? Remember, a resolution without a plan is only a wish. Is your wish I will drink less or I will give up drinking? Those are very doable but tough to do. Sit down and think how you can manage this. Cold turkey? Alone? With a group such as  Alcoholics Anonymous? Worried about not succeeding? Trust everyone in such a group as AA has had the same worry. Be patient with yourself. Have you ever visited Women for Sobriety?  All these groups are on line. It is all anonymous. No one will see your face or know you. Listen to their stories. Eventually you may want to tell your stories. The great thing about these groups is that the members help each other. Short of money? Need a job? Worried about your children? Did your drinking contribute to your problems? Share and listen. Be good to yourself.