Denial is the biggest problem in any addiction. But just looking at this web site is a big first step. Remember alcoholism is a disease so do not blame yourself.  Look at your family history. Are there others members with the disease? But lets get back to you. OK, so you may have an urge to drink. You may have tried giving up drinking and found the withdrawal a nightmare. Lets go a step further. If the withdrawal is tough there is medical help available. Go to your physician and ask her/him for help. If you do not have a physician attend an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. No one will ask your name. Those who are not first time attendees have all gone through withdrawals and will help you. There will be some members who did their withdrawals with the help of a physician and who will gladly tell you who helped them. If you are far from a town you can attend an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting on line. If you are someone living with an alcoholic you may want to look at the intervention possibility. Go to The National Intervention for Drugs and Alcohol (NIDA) to seek out someone in your area. http://www.interventiondrugsandalcohol.org or phone (800) 567-5986.  You may also want to attend Al-Anon. https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/find-an-al-anon-meeting/